Creative Excuse Inventor Pillows

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Homework flavored dog food

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'My arms are getting shorter.'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"We'd invite you to our place in the country but we're having it torched."

'I promoted Wetherby because he always comes up with better excuses.'

"But mom, I can't clean my room now. I just won the Kids Bedroom Seal of Approval!"

'I leave it this way, because leaving it this way is a labor-saving device.'

'The dog ate the flash drive with my homework on it...but I hope to get it back real soon!'

"I didn't feel any 'earthquake'."

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

'It's worse than that -- my little brother ate my homework.'

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

This smart phone comes with excuses for not keeping in touch with your mother.

'You're in luck. The dog ate my sermon.'

'I'm very creative and creative people are not afraid to fail.'

Well, would you believe the cloud ate my homework?

Kid about report card: 'I had technical problems.'

"...but if it's a business trip why are you taking your fly pole?"

"Sharp pencils, clean paper, good light, comfortable chair, hot coffee, warm room... ready to work... perhaps the room is too warm..."

Reasons to avoid training no.236 - A leaf on the path.

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

"Are you sure the Russians didn't hack my answers to make me look bad?"

'Sorry I'm overdue but I've been in hospital!'

"No, my dog didn't eat my homework. He piddled on it. Do you still want it?"

"I can't go job hunting. I don't have a permit."