Creator Of Excuses Pillows

'I'm very creative and creative people are not afraid to fail.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Homework flavored dog food

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"But mom, I can't clean my room now. I just won the Kids Bedroom Seal of Approval!"

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

Lame Lines

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'I leave it this way, because leaving it this way is a labor-saving device.'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'I didn't come to work yesterday because Tuesday is the new Monday.'

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

Great excuses No 964 'I was on my way to the gym when I was abducted by alliens from the planet Sanrg who took me to their ship and force fed me choc-chip ice cream.'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"