Classic Comedy Keepers Gifts

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

Peter Cook

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Moon Line UP

W.C. Fields

Dante Alighieri

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

Buster Keaton

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

Concerto for Two Horns

Tessa

Marty Feldman

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

Laurel and Hardy police protection - "And don't worry about informing on the mob. I've arranged that two of my men give you 24 hour proctection."

'Could you straighten my little brother out? -- he has the Trinity mixed up with the Three Stooges.'

The Wi-Fi of Bath.

'You'll never be as good as Morecambe and Wise,'

'There's no decent comedy on TV nowadays. Why don't they bring back Mr Blobby?'

'Over a hundred channels and nothing to watch!'

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges

Notary

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'