Claims Guru Gifts

'I've had a chance to look over your policy and I'm afraid you're not covered.'

Robot Parts $5

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

Home Business - Newspaper Ad.

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'You will tell me if you have any doubts about my formulae, won't you?'

'Give it to me straight, doc. How much longer do I have in advertising's prime demographic audience?'

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'Run it by legal and then a couple of talk-show hosts.'

"Thank you all for attending this first conference of the surveillance camera recording industry."

I advertised in What Cow!

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

Knight Supplies

"Come quickly—I think I had an out-of-pocket experience."

'To sped up our sandbox compliance issues I've called in a couple of sandbox experts.'

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

Now I'd like to depart from my prepared text and speak from the heart...

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

'Notice how business is up 200% since putting up that sign.'

Username/Password

"Marketing is child's play."

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

"He wins every year -- the man could sell an annuity to a mayfly."

"I don't think it sends the right vibe."

I'll do what everybody does–sell this startup just before we have to hire a female employee.

'You seem to be very accident prone. We're going to have to drop your coverage.'