Cinema Sideline Commentator Gifts

'I didn't read your book, or see the movie, but my mother-in-law told me all about it!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'Cartoonist thinking'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Sports Radio in Crisis

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Pundits

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

"Actually, we will replace you."

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"