Cinematic Commentator Gifts

"Jackie Chan is great, but John Woo is God."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Please enjoy this culturally, ethnically, religiously and politically correct cartoon responsibly.

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'The recession is over, again.'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Don't editorialize."

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

The Decline of Europe

'Cartoonist thinking'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

Sensitivity Reader's Digest

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

King Solomon's Pollster.

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'