Church Therapist Gifts

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

Licensed Therapist

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

What the Doctor Ordered

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'