Church Therapist Pillows

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Licensed Therapist

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

What the Doctor Ordered

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings