Church Counselor Gifts

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Licensed Therapist

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

America, are we learning anything?

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.