Church Repairs Gifts

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

Jack of all trades

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Tool Box

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'Let us pray...'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'