Church Restoration Gifts

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'Great to see the ol' museum is finally getting a face-lift.' An old building getting a medical face-lift

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Architects and Engineers - Restoration of old Buildings.

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

"We'd like some scenes from Genesis over here, followed by David composing the Psalms over there, and at the end, let's have Abraham pointing the way to the coat room."

F&E Building Movers. Ever moved a church before? The hardest part is the organ transplant.

"He's a hunter-gatherer-tinkerer-fixer-upper-restorer-reseller."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

Cathedral Made Safe.

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

Stainglass Windows '33

Salvage Hunters

'-and now a prayer for the roof fund...'

'So ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for anyone prepared to pay ?48.50 including VAT.'

Leaning Tower of Pisa

'Here's the state of the art gym, here's the coffee bar and internet cafe ... oh, yeah - and this little thing over here is the new sanctuary.'

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

Painting Mona Lisa.

"For a little extra we could have got Giotto."

Irish plasterer working on a church

Tourists in church

"She's a rescue."

Building a Church.

"We decided to restore our home to its original state."

'Finial, spire, roof...agnostic'

Turin Shroud...