Church League Enthusiast Gifts

Church League - Thou Shalt Not Steal

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

"That's our new church mascot."

R.C.I.A.

God is for life not just for Christmas.

Baseball Dreams

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

'We're doing everything we can to police ourselves on steroids.'

Vicar

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

Pope Francis

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

A group of women concerned about a priest climbing a ladder

Sportsmanship

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

Yeah? Well my father's better at prayers

Please follow safe worship practices.

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'