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Church League - Thou Shalt Not Steal

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"That's our new church mascot."

God is for life not just for Christmas.

Baseball Dreams

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

Pope Francis

Vicar

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

A group of women concerned about a priest climbing a ladder

Sportsmanship

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and you will never see him in church on Sunday again."

Please follow safe worship practices.

Peter makes another attempt to go to Jesus.

Yeah? Well my father's better at prayers