Church Events Gifts

"Give us this day our daily bread..."

'But why do we have to plough the fields and scatter when we get everything from Tesco?'

'I hate it when the organist is away on holiday'

History's first Baptist potluck was less than successful since John only brought locust.

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

"First, you have to get their attention."

"They're passing a plate? Great, I'm starved!"

"It's true we like our members to be regular givers, but irregular givers are certainly welcome."

A woman in prayer

This Sunday: Bobble-head give-away!

That's probably the wrong tree for the church garden.

When the sermon is about hell, the collection ges way up.

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

Drive-Thru Church Service

God Never Changes

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

A crowd of happy pet owners.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Priest's 'To do' list.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

Green Balloon

See you at the farmers market!

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

AA Meeting Here Today

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"