Religious Event Gifts

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Green Balloon

All dressed up and no place to go

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"Whine and cheezed party."

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

R.C.I.A.

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Inhospitality tent.

"Didn't anyone tell you it was a masked ball?

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

2pm meet your Creator

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Suzies days as a flower girl were numbered.

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

A woman in prayer