Church Celebration Gifts

Singing from same hymn sheet

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"We won!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

If you're happy and you know it...

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Prosecco Peacock

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

Sermon Applause.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Midwest Winter Items.

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

"My first Father's day!"

'My dress is thirteen years old today!'

A woman in prayer

...As we know, Jesus was a carpenter... but I don't think he actually sang on any of their records..."