Church Celebration Gifts

Singing from same hymn sheet

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"We won!"

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

If you're happy and you know it...

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Prosecco Peacock

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

Midwest Winter Items.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Sermon Applause.

R.C.I.A.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

"My first Father's day!"

'My dress is thirteen years old today!'

A woman in prayer