Church Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

Basketball Hoop on the Suggestion Box

"It's the new church organ."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Monk Prompt

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

How's my sermon. . .

The Sleeping Congregation.

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

"...and in conclusion..."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

Bishops Snooker

The ten ammendments

'Even More Disciples'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Church restrooms

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Finger puppets in church.

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

Applause

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'Great escapism, Reverend!'