Chronic Complainer Club Gifts

Sick again. Add that to your list!

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

Airline concerns.

"I don't like it already."

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

"There's a grouch on my couch."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

Input (not yours) and Output (only mine).

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

'Me' Weekly

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

"Where does it hurt?"

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

'No - I demand to speak to your REAL manager!'

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

Complaint Department worker. 'Gosh, I'm good at this job!'

'I hope you find something that's worth complaining to my friends about.'

'You know, this work is misery, but I really like the people I work with.'

'What are you annoyed about now?'

'Hi, I'm from Complainers Anonymous. Can I see the manager?'

"Don't worry about me. I can be unhappy just about anywhere."