Complainers Club Gifts

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Worry tank

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

In, Out, Complain.

'Last guy that worked here did nothing but complain.'

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Cat and Broom

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Complaints departement for men and women.

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"That's the Ommbudsman."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

Moanathon.

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

Airline concerns.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

Wal Max - Complaints Department

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.

"There's a grouch on my couch."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'