Community Complainers Gifts

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'Yeah, it's annoying: When it's hot and humid, my mane tends to curl up...'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"I think I speak for all of us."

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

Input (not yours) and Output (only mine).

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"I don't like water, so I hate it when it rains, but I hate it even more when it snows!"

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

"Where does it hurt?"

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

'Hi, I'm from Complainers Anonymous. Can I see the manager?'

'I hope you find something that's worth complaining to my friends about.'

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.

"Don't worry about me. I can be unhappy just about anywhere."

'You know, this work is misery, but I really like the people I work with.'

'There is no room in the church for damaged goods Rodney.'

'What are you annoyed about now?'

Complaint Department worker. 'Gosh, I'm good at this job!'

Complaints and Gratitude.

'I'm afraid your complaining is chronic.' - 'I want a second opinion!!'

'You can contact us 3 ways: an email that will be trashed, a fax that will be buried, and a letter which will be lost.'

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

'I'm just going to our front gate for a chunner!'

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"