Chronic Complainer Club Pillows

Sick again. Add that to your list!

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"I don't like it already."

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

Airline concerns.

"There's a grouch on my couch."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

Input (not yours) and Output (only mine).

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"Where does it hurt?"

'Me' Weekly

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

'No - I demand to speak to your REAL manager!'

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

'You know, this work is misery, but I really like the people I work with.'

'I hope you find something that's worth complaining to my friends about.'

'What are you annoyed about now?'

'Hi, I'm from Complainers Anonymous. Can I see the manager?'

Complaint Department worker. 'Gosh, I'm good at this job!'

"Don't worry about me. I can be unhappy just about anywhere."