Chronic Complainer Fan Gifts

Suggestions. Why is that needed up here? Because some people aren't really happy unless they can complain.

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

Complaints departement for men and women.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

Moanathon.

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

Airline concerns.

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Never trust someone who tries to sell you nine life insurance policies.

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

Patience Tested While You Wait.