Christian Storyteller Gifts

"He's coming out halo first!"

The Good Samaritan.

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"You think it's tough down there?"

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

"King Herod sent us."

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

'...And remember, tune in next week at this same time for the exciting conclusion of 'David and Bathsheba.'!'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."