Bible Storyteller Gifts

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"Pass the salt, will you, Lot.

'No, they're NOT meant ironically!'

'Old spice?'

'And on the eighth day he realised he'd overstretched himself.'

"Well I can ask, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't do house calls."

'Wouldn't it just be easier to invest in a good London Fog rain coat?'

'You mean Noah discriminated on the basis of marital status?'

'And another plus is that you'll go down in history as the first apple picker!'

'Does the fig leaf make my butt look to big?'

''Twelve Apostles'? - You mean Jesus had a FOCUS GROUP?'

'Why was Adam rejected?'

'I warned you we'd get thrown out, changing the name from the Garden of Eden.'

'You're not still hungry?'

I bought my lawyer along to go over the small print.

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Moses parts the Maine beach

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Little Known Moments In History

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'