Gospel Storyteller Gifts

"I'm sorry Gary, but my twelve apostles are enough. We don't also need a mascot."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"You think it's tough down there?"

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

"King Herod sent us."

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

'...And remember, tune in next week at this same time for the exciting conclusion of 'David and Bathsheba.'!'

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"