Sermon Storyteller Gifts

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"The hardest thing about being a youth pastor is keeping my sermons to 140 characters or less."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

'Pastor Bob is so dramatic.'

Parables and Sermons

'Some of the best topics for my sermons have come from fortune cookies.'

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Edgar Allen Poe

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."