Gospel Singer Gifts

tell it on the mountain

Non-Denominational Carols

Guitars in Heaven

The-Lead-Us-Not-Into Temptations

Applause

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

'It helps with reception.'

Little Richard

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Walking on Water

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

Thomas Dorsey.

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

"Uh-oh! Here comes trouble!"

'Big Issue!'

"Yeah, he changed water into wine but it was nothing you'd want to lay down."

The First Supper

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

Jesus Seals the Hick...

"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

Revisionist Theology Happy Hour in Galilee with Jesus and Judas

Religious man watching religious TV

The Teachings of Jesus: Day 1

"I'm sorry Gary, but my twelve apostles are enough. We don't also need a mascot."

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

'The pipe organ costs a hundred and ten thousand. Four music stands for Ed's Gospel Quartet, eighty five fifty. Discussion.'

"Wine?! Laddie, he'll have my attention when he can change water into Scotch!"

'You called for tech support?'

'Here's the story of the sermon on the mount.'

"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."

Beth Moore