Spiritual Singer Gifts

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Non-Denominational Carols

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

All we have in life is this moment...

'Have you been working out?'

BLESS YOU

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Late-Onset Epiphany

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

"Can you get that down to 140 characters?"

"I'm referring you to a specialist."

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

Zen Kitten

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"