Worship Singer Gifts

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

Applause

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

Church: Open Sundays

Come To Church Today and Beat the Christmas Rush.

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Fitness in church.

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Hymns - Optional Extras

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

Curate talking to miners