Celebrity Worshipper Gifts

"I love L.A."

I stick with the celebrity instructors. If I heard of them, I sign up with them.

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Sunbathing in Autumn

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Pyramid catflap...

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

Fitness in church.

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

"He's so happy it's finally sunny and warm, he's been standing out here like that for hours."

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

TV and man

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

'Did you know that your birthmark links to a cult group that worships cats?'

Worshiping the TV.

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

Cat is Ruler of the House.

Man says: 'Either that cat goes or I go.'