Celebrity Worshipper Pillows

"I love L.A."

I stick with the celebrity instructors. If I heard of them, I sign up with them.

Jennifer Aniston

Marilyn's Rushmore

"A group of Jennifer Lopez's fans want us to make her a saint!"

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Sunbathing in Autumn

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Pyramid catflap...

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

Fitness in church.

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

TV and man

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"He's so happy it's finally sunny and warm, he's been standing out here like that for hours."

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

'Did you know that your birthmark links to a cult group that worships cats?'

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Worshiping the TV.

'It's been a mad house ever since the image of Elvis was seen on the wall after I primed it.'

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

Surgeons high-five spectators as they enter emergency room.

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."