Modern Worshipper Pillows

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Fitness in church.

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

TV and man

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

'Here's the state of the art gym, here's the coffee bar and internet cafe ... oh, yeah - and this little thing over here is the new sanctuary.'

Worshiping the TV.

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

"Things have been pretty quiet around here since folks started worshipping online."

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

'As a professional discount, I require you to say only two hail Marys.'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

"I guess I missed more Sundays than I thought."

I stick with the celebrity instructors. If I heard of them, I sign up with them.