Modern Worshippers Pillows

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Drive-thru Church

Marilyn's Rushmore

"I have an app for that."

The ten ammendments

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"My parents are members of a tiny cult that worships me."

Jennifer Aniston

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

TV and man

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

'Here's the state of the art gym, here's the coffee bar and internet cafe ... oh, yeah - and this little thing over here is the new sanctuary.'

'It's been a mad house ever since the image of Elvis was seen on the wall after I primed it.'

"Have you tried turning it off and then on again?"

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

"Things have been pretty quiet around here since folks started worshipping online."

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'A group of Jennifer Lopez's fans want us to make her a saint!' 'Really? A halo of J-Lo?'

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

A hazard of river baptisms.

Collection plate at church with signs of the credit cards the church will take.

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

'It looks so lifelike!'

Church Pastor Paul Lucas - NOW IN 3D

Church sign: Now With WiFi.