Modernist Worshipper Pillows

Collection plate at church with signs of the credit cards the church will take.

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

Sunbathing in Autumn

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Marilyn's Rushmore

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Jennifer Aniston

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"He's so happy it's finally sunny and warm, he's been standing out here like that for hours."

TV and man

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

'No, we can never actually see the big cartoonist, but he's everywhere.'

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

'It's been a mad house ever since the image of Elvis was seen on the wall after I primed it.'

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

"Things have been pretty quiet around here since folks started worshipping online."

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

'A group of Jennifer Lopez's fans want us to make her a saint!' 'Really? A halo of J-Lo?'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

'As a professional discount, I require you to say only two hail Marys.'

"Form Follow Money."

'Pastor, 'confirmed' means we only have to attend church on Christmas and Easter, right?'

'It looks so lifelike!'

The New Gods

While watching Mass at home during the pandemic, dad gets the bright idea of taking up a collection.

"I guess I missed more Sundays than I thought."