Modernist Worshipper Gifts

Sunbathing in Autumn

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

TV and man

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"He's so happy it's finally sunny and warm, he's been standing out here like that for hours."

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

"Things have been pretty quiet around here since folks started worshipping online."

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

"Form Follow Money."

'As a professional discount, I require you to say only two hail Marys.'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

'Pastor, 'confirmed' means we only have to attend church on Christmas and Easter, right?'

"I guess I missed more Sundays than I thought."

I stick with the celebrity instructors. If I heard of them, I sign up with them.