Modern Congregation Pillows

Drive-thru Church

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Midwest Winter Items.

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Nativity - The sitcom

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

Vicar - Virtuous Reality

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

Jesus swept.

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

After finishing his 5 minute guitar riff, John realized the silence was due to his filling in on the traditional service worship team that particular Sunday morning.

TV and man

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"I really liked that stuff you were saying about all of us being sinners and how we're damned for eternity."

Today's Sermon: Are You Praying Or Just Looking At Your Phones?

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

"It's not that we consider ourselves holier than others just because we choose to sit in the front row."