Church Gatherings Pillows

'We were forced to leave our last church when some visitors took our seats.'

'That was the longest infomercial I've ever seen.'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

"That was one #!@* good sermon preacher!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Jesus swept.

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Christmas Tree

Priest's 'To do' list.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Early Piety

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

The prying mantis,

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

The devil you know and his plus one

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."