Celebrity Worshiper Pillows

'It looks so lifelike!'

'A group of Jennifer Lopez's fans want us to make her a saint!' 'Really? A halo of J-Lo?'

'It's been a mad house ever since the image of Elvis was seen on the wall after I primed it.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Marilyn's Rushmore

Pyramid catflap...

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

Applause

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

Jennifer Aniston

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

TV and man

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

'Did you know that your birthmark links to a cult group that worships cats?'

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Worshiping the TV.

'No, we can never actually see the big cartoonist, but he's everywhere.'

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

Surgeons high-five spectators as they enter emergency room.

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

"My cat is like your god. Except people don't kill in her name. You don't need to wait until you die to meet her. And she's real."

'As a professional discount, I require you to say only two hail Marys.'

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."