Telly Worshipper Pillows

Worshiping the TV.

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Church for sports worshipers.

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Pyramid catflap...

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

TV and man

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

'Did you know that your birthmark links to a cult group that worships cats?'

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

Yonder: Roll Call Every 15 Min.

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

"Snowman 1 to snowman 3... UPS delivery complete... FedEx approaching fast... Amazon not in sight... Over!"

Cat is Ruler of the House.