Wi-fi Worshiper Pillows

Wi-Fi

The World Wide Web.

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

'Keep Off the Wi-Fi.'

Wifi whore

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

We don't have wi-fi.

You Are Here...Your Nearest Wi-FI Signal Is Here.

'But we just fed the meter for another hour.'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

'No wifi?. . .No 3G, either?!. . .Lousy tropical paradise!'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"I couldn't get a signal while I was at the mall. I can now relate to those songs that sing about the blues."

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

"It's summer and kids need an outlet...an electrical outlet!"

"OK, I'll play outside, but what do I do when I get out of Wi-Fi range?"

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

'Internet' 'Internot'

Ohm sweet Ohm

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

Questions Online

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

'What's the wi-fi like?'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."