Wi-fi Worshiper Gifts

Wi-Fi

The World Wide Web.

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Marilyn's Rushmore

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

'Keep Off the Wi-Fi.'

Wifi whore

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

'I got caught in a blogstorm.'

'But we just fed the meter for another hour.'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

You Are Here...Your Nearest Wi-FI Signal Is Here.

We don't have wi-fi.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'No wifi?. . .No 3G, either?!. . .Lousy tropical paradise!'

"I couldn't get a signal while I was at the mall. I can now relate to those songs that sing about the blues."

Jennifer Aniston

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

"It's summer and kids need an outlet...an electrical outlet!"

"OK, I'll play outside, but what do I do when I get out of Wi-Fi range?"

Questions Online

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

Department of Philosophy. Free Why-Fi.

Ohm sweet Ohm

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'Internet' 'Internot'

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

'What's the wi-fi like?'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'