Remote Worshiper Pillows

"Due to social distancing - all gods will be fake from home."

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

Ohm sweet Ohm

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

TV and man

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Worshiping the TV.

'No, we can never actually see the big cartoonist, but he's everywhere.'

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

'I said I would agree to work remotely, but this is a bit too much.'

'This is a song about losing something you dearly love, searching for it everywhere and finally finding it only to lose it again. I call it 'Lookin' for my remote in all the wrong places'!'

'Let me know if you want me to adjust the webcam.'

"Anybody fancy getting drunk and photocopying our bottoms."

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

'As a professional discount, I require you to say only two hail Marys.'

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

The New Gods

Wi-Fi

While watching Mass at home during the pandemic, dad gets the bright idea of taking up a collection.

'When the poor dear retired, he found that he missed his little cubicle.'

"You're better off without. I'm SCHVITZING!"

"He's Behind You!"

"Dear Lord Elon, thank you for our daily tweet."

"Find the remote yet?"