Idol Worship Gifts

Man leading a procession of followers around a moutainous region waving a heart

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Church for sports worshipers.

Pete Sampras

Marilyn's Rushmore

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

'I like it. It's bigger than life.'

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

Jennifer Aniston

'You know, they call me 'Stinkin' rich' because I even have an employee who takes a shower for me every morning!'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

Fitness in church.

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

TV and man

'Money DOES make me happy.'

Fuzz - Max almost chokes on his own vomit.

Worshiping the TV.

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

'It's been a mad house ever since the image of Elvis was seen on the wall after I primed it.'

Surgeons high-five spectators as they enter emergency room.

'A group of Jennifer Lopez's fans want us to make her a saint!' 'Really? A halo of J-Lo?'

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

Frank Zappa

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

Bruno Fernandes

'Some hero you turned out to be...'

"The new trend in worship services is replacing smoke machines with anti-virus fumigators."

'It looks so lifelike!'

Erda

"...You'll never believe who shared a prison cell with my dad!"

The Alter of Football