Sports Worshipper Gifts

The Alter of Football

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Church for sports worshipers.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Marilyn's Rushmore

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Jennifer Aniston

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Fitness in church.

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

A angel wearing a helmet poised to throw a football down from heaven.

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

Worshiping the TV.

I love Kung Fu.

'It's been a mad house ever since the image of Elvis was seen on the wall after I primed it.'

'I will need to watch the replay.'

Surgeons high-five spectators as they enter emergency room.

And on the seventh day God invented cricket

"In my spare time I'm a doctor."

"Snowman 1 to snowman 3... UPS delivery complete... FedEx approaching fast... Amazon not in sight... Over!"

Zen and the Art of Skiing

'A group of Jennifer Lopez's fans want us to make her a saint!' 'Really? A halo of J-Lo?'

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

"It's true - we totally have the best religion!"

Bruno Fernandes

'Don't bother with the whole squad,Rooney and co. will suffice.'

Football prayers.