Sports Devotee Gifts

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

Tennis enthusiast spots a famous tennis player.

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

I love Kung Fu.

Football prayers.

"In my spare time I'm a doctor."

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'My feet are killing me.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

If nobody had invented graphics

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Mixed Doubles.

Monica Seles

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"How should we divide the teams?"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."