Sports Devotee Gifts

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

Tennis enthusiast spots a famous tennis player.

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

I love Kung Fu.

Football prayers.

"In my spare time I'm a doctor."

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'My feet are killing me.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

Football Chameleon

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Mixed Doubles.

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Gary turns 40.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Saving a Heart

A day at the transgenic races

"How should we divide the teams?"