Cholesterol Detective Gifts

'Good news! Your cholesterol is the very, very bad kind!'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Critisize your weight.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Diet considerations.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

Science and Coronavirus

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

Attack of the 'health' foods

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Good Cholesterol.

Sawdust.

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'