Cholesterol Detective Pillows

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Critisize your weight.

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Secretive Weigh In.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Diet considerations.'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Science and Coronavirus

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

Good Cholesterol.

Sawdust.

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'