Cholesterol Watchers Gifts

The Walrus and the Spoilsport

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

Good Cholesterol.

Sawdust.

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

'What about the cholesterol?'

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

Patient sees smiling doctor and mean-looking doctor: 'Oh, I get it ? it's the old good cholesterol/bad cholesterol routine.'

Good egg, bad egg.

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

'The thin person inside you screaming to get out seems to have cholesterol poisoning.'

'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

'My Dad stays in shape watching other people exercise.'

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

'With my new heart I have to worry about cholesterol.'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

'Your cholesterol is off the chart. . . Better cut down on the bacon.'

Good Cholesterol / Bad Cholesterol.

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

'Good news! Your cholesterol is the very, very bad kind!'

I'll call for an ambulance. He's losing choleseterol.

Santa asks man if cholesterol is naught or nice.

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

'My doctor says I need more good cholesterol. I think this sausage is as good as it gets.'

Welcome at the Healthful Restaurant. We allow neither cholesterol, GM food, colourings, dust nor guests.

'The correct term for our special is the quadruple cheeseburger...and should never again be referred to as...the heart bypass special.'