Cholesterol Conscious Gifts

'You need more fiber and less cholesterol in your diet. Throw out the eggs you bought and eat the carton they came in.'

'You have really bad cholesterol.'

'You have to get your cholesterol down - Stop sucking eggs.'

'Let's be careful out there. Remember, there's a lot of cholesterol in donuts.'

'They worry about their cholesterol, but they don't give a damn about ours!'

Cholesterol, No Cholesterol.

"I love kids but my doctor says they're bad for my cholesterol."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

Wash your hands

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

Running

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

Good egg, bad egg.

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol weight, and self importance are all too high.'