Cholesterol Coach Gifts

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Be Healthy

Bad for you but to die for

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Unguided imagery

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

Final words on gravestones.

Valleyview diet clinic

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

Mental health